you guys were way drunker than both of me
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
