you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
