Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
