hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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