What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
