he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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