I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.