There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green