So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
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He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
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my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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