Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
