we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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