Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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