I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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