I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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