How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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