Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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