Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
