I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
