Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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