I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
