they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize
