i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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