I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
