It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
