Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize