I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I think people are normalizing furries
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
