Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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