the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
