she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I showed him my bush... on skype.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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