hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize