wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
