I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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