Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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