nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
