it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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