Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize