Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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