Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
