so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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