Even the bartender felt bad for me
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
