Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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