trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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