I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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