Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
