then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
