"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize