Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
