Porn is love you can see.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
