Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
