No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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