im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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