just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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