I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
