when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
