The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My penis needs a shock collar
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Randomize
