Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
