Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
