Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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