i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
