I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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