those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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