I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
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I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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